We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
