There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize