his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
