I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
