i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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