On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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