Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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