bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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