Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
