break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
