You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
