Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
