i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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