Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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