There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
