So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
