cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
