She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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