Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize