Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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