Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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