community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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