is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
