clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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