I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
