God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
