can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
