Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
