Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
