He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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