you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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