ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
