4 words: hood of his car
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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