Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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