i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
