He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Even my vagina gasped.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
