Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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