he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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