Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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