the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
