i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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