Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
