Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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