I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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