I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
