Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
