the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
