And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
