he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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