So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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