i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
