..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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