My room smells like vodka and shame
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
