Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
