I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
