yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
