The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My ass is underappreciated
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
