One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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