He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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