explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Are we still banned from the library?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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