I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize