I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
