now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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